Winter is here. I love walking outside and feeling the cool breeze and hearing the crunch of leaves under my feet. With winter comes the holidays--I usually describe December as the most expensive month of the year. Though, I love being able to go home twice within the span of a month. Christmas with my family and friends is one of my favorite things. 


However, with the new year comes a desire for a sense of purpose. At this point I am struggling to figure out what my next step is. I have a job that I love but may not be able to pay me in the next coming months. I have passions that I wish I could pursue but getting paid to do so has been proven difficult. I live in a city that I love but dont feel like I fit in. I don't know if I have set expectations for my life that are too high and that's why I feel constantly disappointed or if I need to wade out this part of my life in order to later be able to do the things that I want to do. 

I am a firm believer that people should use the talents that they have been given. I guess I had always seen my passions as talents, and maybe I need to view them more as a character trait and pursue the actual talents I have. I have a strange knack for raising money, and can multi-task like nobody's business. I thrive in fast-paced environments and work well under pressure. So maybe I should continue to pursue raising money and get a business degree. With a business degree I can choose who I want to work for--I wouldnt have to run to Halliburton or the like. And I have personally worked for many social advocacy organizations that could really use and updated business plan. 

I dont know. I am sort of in a melancholy mood and wish that this phase of my life had a road map like everything else has. I think one of the worst feelings in the world is regret, so I worry about the decisions I am making and how they will affect everything else. But, I also believe that everything happens for a reason, and that everything will turn out exactly like it is supposed to.



I wish everyone a wonderful Holiday season! I am off to Chicago/Indiana for the first time for one of my good friends' wedding, then I am headed home to celebrate Christmas with my family. I'll start off the New Year in Los Angeles with a bunch of my best friends! I am excited for this whirlwind trip!